Author: Mordechai Neuman, Disaster Response Crisis Counselor

December 2nd, 2014

We all have stress in our lives. But what is stress? What is the psychological process in our mind that brings us to be stressed out? Let’s begin by exploring some theories—the Appraisal Theory and the CBT model—to help us gain a better understanding of how stress happens and how to reduce it. The Appraisal Theory (by Lazarus & Folkman) proposes that our mind makes two quick calculations—or appraisals—of every si …
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Author: Rachel Factor, MSW

December 2nd, 2014

Stress seems to be an inevitable part of our lives.  There are family stressors, work stressors, financial stressors, just to name a few.  At one point someone shared with me an idea that stress is merely a result of our thinking.  Once we have healthier thoughts we no longer have stress.  I had difficulty accepting this premise.  After all, sometimes life can seem really tough.  However, as life goes on I’m ac …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

November 25th, 2014

The Responsibility of Choice - Parshat Vayeitzei Miracles are but one way in which God effects change in the world. When the children of Israel were to leave Egypt, He brought upon them 10 plagues and then split the Red Sea. Yet there are times when God demands of us to take responsibility for our actions. Near the end of this week's Parsha, Vayeitzei, we find Lavan chasing down Yaakov. God could easily have prevented such a meeting in any number …
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Author: Chana Kaiman, LCSW

November 23rd, 2014

TORAH’S TAKE ON ANXIETY: "Can you relate to feeling overwhelmed with endless to do lists, unfinished projects, feeling divided between multiple tasks and just when things are going well worrying that it will all fall apart?" Living in a competitive society filled with daily stress and expectations, compounded with the many demands of community, family and social pressures all result in quiet desperation. Thanks to our natural and unive …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

November 18th, 2014

Dealing with Difficulties - Parshat Toldot In order to learn how to deal with difficulties in our lives we often turn to our forefathers for guidance. Rivka at the beginning of this week's parsha, Parshat Toldot, finds herself suffering through a difficult pregnancy. The suffering is so great that she turns towards God for answers. The answer was that there was a rational explanation for the difficulty in her pregnancy. She was to have twins.1 Th …
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Author: Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R, Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R

November 16th, 2014

You see a disheveled person asking for tzedakka: Is he an alcoholic or drug addict, or just a person down on his luck and in need of a helping hand? Your friend asks you to help him find a job, but to tell the truth, you don’t think your friend is responsible or reliable. Do you offer assistance blindly or do you candidly tell him why you think he doesn’t have the right attitude for successful employment? A young woman whom you k …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

November 12th, 2014

Unglorious Kindness - Parshat Chayei Sara Good-deed-doers often go unnoticed. In the classic movie, Wizard of Oz, the Wizard speaks to the Tin Man of many good-deed-doers. Some get recognized for their work and are thanked privately and sometimes even publicly. Yet even those who may not get testimonials for their works, their deeds are no less important nor less appreciated by the recipient of their kindness. The beginning of this week's parsha, …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

November 10th, 2014

Note: This was published in the monthly ask-the-therapist column of Jewish Echo Magazine Dear Mindy Thank you for your wonderful and insightful columns. My question is as follows. I don't get along with my mother in law and would prefer to not speak with her unless I must I.e. at a simcha.(I guess the easiest way to describe it is - I'm from Mars and she is from Venus )  I do also understand that she is the grandmother of my children an …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

November 7th, 2014

Living with Contradictions - Parshat Vayeira One of the more difficult challenges in life is being presented with two diametrically opposed choices - a choice so complicated that no matter what you choose, you would have to compromise a dearly-held value. On a very basic level we are not talking about choosing between chocolate brownie ice cream or a milkshake - that may be a deep dilemma though certainly not contradictory choices. We are talking …
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Author: Dr. Batya L. Ludman

November 4th, 2014

Life seemed easier when we were growing up and in a less fast paced world, children had a chance to play and be children. How then in the year 2014, with all that is going on around us, do you raise your children to be resilient? Resilience, the ability to roll with the punches, to experience life's challenges and not just bounce back but  thrive, is critical for all of us, individually and collectively as a community. This is especially so …
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Author: Sara Teichman, Psy.D.

November 4th, 2014

Kids today! They are carpooled to school, have their own rooms [well, maybe with one sib], and their own personal lawyers [us!] to help them deal with any issue at school. How different this is from our childhood where we walked to school, shared a room with three siblings, and had to deal with the teachers all by ourselves. Though we may laughingly concede that our children ‘have it too good’ and we certainly have no wish for them to …
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Author: Rabbi Ariel Greenberg MA

October 30th, 2014

  The steps of recovery from an abusive marriage to a caring marriage D I R E C T I O N D-Detach I –Individuate R- Reach out E- Equalize C-Calm T-Trust others I-Intend consciously to connect to others, make the choice O-open up to others N-Nosei B’ol- taking responsibility for another person 1-you can’t get anywhere else if you don’t leave where you are. You may have already technically separated or divorced, but you …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 29th, 2014

When researchers investigated why some children turn out happier, healthier and more successful, and had stronger relationships with their parents, 10 parental competencies emerged. We’ve been exploring them over the past few weeks, working our way up from number ten to number one. To recap, competency number ten is keeping your children safe, number nine is religious participation and support, and number eight is modeling a healthy lifesty …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 29th, 2014

  Researchers have defined ”successful parenting” as parenting that results in children who have a strong bond with their parents, and are happy, healthy, and successful. They studied parents and found what they call the 10 competencies that successful parents display. They used the term “competencies” rather than techniques or methods of parenting. I think that’s very informative because it describes who you ar …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

October 29th, 2014

Go Forth Inwards - Parshat  Lech Lecha Knowing where we are going is usually a good idea when we start any journey - whether we are going to work, on a vacation or to a family gathering. It is, therefore, surprising that when God says to Avraham at the beginning of Parshat Lech Lecha, "go forth", he seems to start by not telling him where he is going but rather what he is leaving. "Go forth from your land, from your birthplace and from your …
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Author: Dr. Avraham (Allan) Friedman, Psy. D., LMSW

October 24th, 2014

  Survivor Syndrome and Us - Parshat Noach We have often heard of post-flood Noah suffering from what has become popularly known as the survivor syndrome. Simply put, someone who survived a traumatic event while those around him didn't is often filled with guilt over having survived while others didn't, or a belief that he was not worthy of surviving, or shock and anger about the traumatic event or other reactions. Usually the traumatic even …
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Author: Staci Lee Schnell, M.S., C.S., LMFT

October 22nd, 2014

Many women with breast cancer face emotional issues during and after their treatments. Anxiety, depression and fear are often evident. They may worry that the cancer will return, be concerned about their physical changes, or they may be concerned about the impact of their diagnosis on their family, social, or work life. The physical, emotional, and social effects of the disease can seem overwhelming. Fear of recurrence is an extremely common and …
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Author: Yechiel Benedikt, LMSW

October 7th, 2014

                The challenge in a couple going for marital therapy results from the fact that the spouses feel that there is nothing wrong with them and why should they have to be in therapy just because of their spouse’s shortcomings. Whereas in individual therapy the client knows that something is wrong and seeks help with his or her personal problem, in marriages …
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Author: Rabbi Tzvi Fried, LCSW

October 7th, 2014

Couples may come to therapy for either of two reasons; the first is that they face a situation of acute distress and conflict. Often it is one partner who drags them into the office. The couple may fight and raise voices or be rude to each other or find themselves in cold wars which get longer each episode. They may be stuck in cycle of criticism, which is a dysfunctional communication style, and a spoiler of satisfying home life. Critical or sar …
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Author: Ovadia Trepp, MSW, LCSW

October 7th, 2014

For the purpose of this article we will be discussing two types of problem that impact marriages – couple problems and individual problems, and two types of therapy – marital and individual. Like the handyman who needs to know the details of a job before deciding upon the right set of tools to bring along, it's helpful to recognize the type of marital issue you are facing when choosing one type of therapy over another. So what is a co …
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October 3rd, 2014

The Five Towns Wellness Center held their first networking event on Sunday, September 14. Their team of clinical therapists invited school faculty, Rabbis, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists to meet for an elegant evening of professional collaboration in their newly renovated professional office in Cedarhurst. The incredible turnout pointed to the dedication of those in the professional community to learning about local resources in order to pro …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 3rd, 2014

Many parents are wary of psychology.   It’s true that there are some theories in psychology that see religion as unhelpful or even harmful. And there are some psychologists who are antagonistic to Judaism. One prominent leader in the field of group therapy comes to mind. I remember filing a formal complaint when I was in graduate school because in his book, which we were assigned as part of our coursework, he attacked rabbis and Torah …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 3rd, 2014

This past summer, researchers presented a paper at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association. The paper was entitled,” Measuring competencies that predict successful parenting: A preliminary validation study.” Before I share some of their findings with you, I’d like to define some terms. Validation is a term used in statistical analysis. It is the extent to which a conclusion corresponds accurately to the real …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 28th, 2014

Note: This column was originally published in Jewish Echo Magazine in the Ask-the-therapist column 9/14 A parent asks: It's back to school. My daughter is 10 and all excited to start a new year. She's a straight A student and because she is, she is more the shy type and doesn't attract as many friends. Last year she complained and I had to speak to her teachers many times to make sure it was well handled. I feel like it will happen all over again …
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Author: Allan J. Katz LPC/CSAT

September 21st, 2014

Allan J. Katz, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist will be facilitating an intensive program entitled Healthy Sexuality and Intimacy on Nov. 14-21, 2014.  This customized program is based on the latest information by leaders in the field of sexual addiction and compulsivity. Modeled after our highly successful Living Centered Program, this program gives participants the opportunity to explore personal aspects that fuel sexual issues, such as f …
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Author: Parenting Your Anxious Child

September 3rd, 2014

You have your sweet, intelligent, imaginative and creative child. A child who has clearly been blessed with endless potential and depth, a child that can blow your mind away with the most interesting questions you’ve ever been asked (Which you only wished you could answer). Need we say more? The problem, or better said, the “challenge” is, your child also has anxiety. It’s part of this package deal. Yet, there is good news …
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Author: Elizabeth Carmen, MHC-LP

September 2nd, 2014

  I’m going to take the risk of being blunt and ask, I wonder how many girls have been told they aren’t good enough because of their weight. From personal experience in the Jewish community, I know that this happens to plenty of young women, but I don’t think it’s unique to that community. Young women and even young girls are being sent this message- both directly and indirectly- all the time, whether it’s about …
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Author: Elizabeth Carmen, MHC-LP

September 1st, 2014

Audrey Hepburn wasn’t the only one enamored by Tiffany’s. The pretty white silk ribbon, the robin’s blue bag, promising something amazing inside… What is it about shopping that’s so therapeutic to people, sometimes even leading to severe addictions? Companies like American Express and Visa thrive off of people who believe the saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping”. This morning, I wen …
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Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW

August 30th, 2014

The Back-to-School Transition-5 Tools to Help Calm the Storm By: Moshe Norman, LCSW Yup, it’s that time of year again though quite hard to believe.  The hours are ticking till school starts and it is beginning to have its effect in the home.  It wasn’t always like that, though.  Before Jason was school age the older kids excitedly anticipated rejoining their school friends and sharing their camp experiences.  They …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

August 27th, 2014

When I was a rav in Baltimore I once began my drasha as follows: Hershel’s mother was having a very hard time getting him out of bed one morning. Hershel finally said to his mother, “give me three reasons why it’s so important that I get out of bed.”
She replied, “All right, Hershel, I’ll give you three reasons why it’s so important that you get out of bed. First of all, because you’re Jewish. …
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Author: Elizabeth Carmen, MHC-LP

August 26th, 2014

When I started graduate school, I thought being a therapist would be fun... or fulfilling at least. I always thought that the job would be simple- I'm a good listener, I could cross my legs and sit in a comfy chair, listening to other people's problems all day. I didn't understand that when you really put your heart into it, it takes an emotional toll, so I needed to find new ways to deal. On nights when I really need to decompress from the horri …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 21st, 2014

NOTE: This article was originally written for a LINKS publication, an organization which reaches out to girls whose parent(s) has died               My husband's father was killed in a bus bombing in Yerushulayim when he was eleven. His family got up from shiva right before Purim and yet he does not have any memories of Purim being a sad day that year. When I asked him about that Purim, he said, “I do …
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Author: Ellen Cornfeld, CNT

August 19th, 2014

One of our primary roles as parents – and one that takes up much of our energies, thoughts and time – is to make sure that our children eat healthy. Few things are more painful for parents than watching their child grapple with their relationship with food. Sometimes it is a slight nuance noticed, a sudden dislike for a certain food, or the disappearance of a cake, all of which appear to be accompanied by reasonable explanations. &rdq …
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Author: Liz Wallenstein, LMHC

August 19th, 2014

Did you know that if you are experiencing migraine headaches, digestive issues, chronic back or joint pain, or other chronic pain conditions and disorders, that it might be your body’s way of trying to tell you something? The latest research in psychology has been putting an emphasis on somatization, or how feelings and experiences show up in the body. It turns out that the body can store information that is not in our conscious minds, mean …
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Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW

August 19th, 2014

We are a nation of givers. It is in our very nature, our essence, our cultural and spiritual DNA. Our communities, schools, and shuls are replete with opportunities for giving. Flip through a Jewish newspaper today and you’ll come across dozens of ads for organized giving: food for the poor, infertility treatments for those who can’t afford them, even free anonymous mental health counseling over the phone. We give time, we give money …
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Author: Esther Fuchs, LCSW

August 19th, 2014

“I want my child to be happy, successful in school, and accepted by classmates.” These are the words I hear from almost every parent in the initial interview when I begin working with them and their children around an adjustment issue. As parents, we all want our children to be happy and grow up to be fully functioning, successful adults. Psychologists are researching whether there is a correlation between happiness and success in lif …
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Author: Dr. Sara Teichman

August 19th, 2014

Though many of our children do quite well in yeshiva, sometimes we come across a child who is head and shoulders above the rest of his class. Though one may think of this as a “good problem,” it is a problem nevertheless. The child suffers from mind-numbing boredom, and the adults suffer when that child acts out because he is going out of his mind. Children who are super unchallenged in school are often miserable. Sometimes to relieve …
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Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW

August 19th, 2014

Dear Readers,   In our previous issues of Mind, Body & Soul, we’ve tackled the issue of how to get started on the path to getting help for issues of mental health. We’ve also examined the concept of being willing to be fully engaged in the therapeutic process in order to make the most of the help you are getting. And although we touched on the issue of ascertaining whether the help you’ve gone for is actually helping yo …
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Author: Jake Mezrahi

August 19th, 2014

What is confidence and where does it come from? First try to think of something you are confident about and think about how you became confident in it. I, for example, am confident that I could make a painting (the kind you see in museums), because I have been painting for over fifteen years. I am confident that I know how to drive a car because I have been driving for over fifteen years. I am very confident that I know the difference between hea …
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Author: Joel Verstaendig, Ph.D.

August 19th, 2014

It’s Sunday evening and the sun is starting to set. It was a pleasant day, but nevertheless, the general sense of wellbeing that seemed so pervasive a few hours earlier is beginning to diminish. A vague, gnawing feeling slowly manifests itself. With the passing of each moment, this indistinct sensation gradually takes form and suddenly the harsh realization strikes: “Oh no! The weekend is just about over!” A serie …
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