Author: Staci Lee Schnell, M.S., C.S., LMFT

October 22nd, 2014

Many women with breast cancer face emotional issues during and after their treatments. Anxiety, depression and fear are often evident. They may worry that the cancer will return, be concerned about their physical changes, or they may be concerned about the impact of their diagnosis on their family, social, or work life. The physical, emotional, and social effects of the disease can seem overwhelming. Fear of recurrence is an extremely common and …
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Author: Yechiel Benedikt, LMSW

October 7th, 2014

                The challenge in a couple going for marital therapy results from the fact that the spouses feel that there is nothing wrong with them and why should they have to be in therapy just because of their spouse’s shortcomings. Whereas in individual therapy the client knows that something is wrong and seeks help with his or her personal problem, in marriages …
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Author: Rabbi Tzvi Fried, LCSW

October 7th, 2014

Couples may come to therapy for either of two reasons; the first is that they face a situation of acute distress and conflict. Often it is one partner who drags them into the office. The couple may fight and raise voices or be rude to each other or find themselves in cold wars which get longer each episode. They may be stuck in cycle of criticism, which is a dysfunctional communication style, and a spoiler of satisfying home life. Critical or sar …
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Author: Ovadia Trepp, MSW, LCSW

October 7th, 2014

For the purpose of this article we will be discussing two types of problem that impact marriages – couple problems and individual problems, and two types of therapy – marital and individual. Like the handyman who needs to know the details of a job before deciding upon the right set of tools to bring along, it's helpful to recognize the type of marital issue you are facing when choosing one type of therapy over another. So what is a co …
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October 3rd, 2014

The Five Towns Wellness Center held their first networking event on Sunday, September 14. Their team of clinical therapists invited school faculty, Rabbis, psychiatrists, and psychotherapists to meet for an elegant evening of professional collaboration in their newly renovated professional office in Cedarhurst. The incredible turnout pointed to the dedication of those in the professional community to learning about local resources in order to pro …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 3rd, 2014

Many parents are wary of psychology.   It’s true that there are some theories in psychology that see religion as unhelpful or even harmful. And there are some psychologists who are antagonistic to Judaism. One prominent leader in the field of group therapy comes to mind. I remember filing a formal complaint when I was in graduate school because in his book, which we were assigned as part of our coursework, he attacked rabbis and Torah …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

October 3rd, 2014

This past summer, researchers presented a paper at the annual meeting of the American Psychological Association. The paper was entitled,” Measuring competencies that predict successful parenting: A preliminary validation study.” Before I share some of their findings with you, I’d like to define some terms. Validation is a term used in statistical analysis. It is the extent to which a conclusion corresponds accurately to the real …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

September 28th, 2014

Note: This column was originally published in Jewish Echo Magazine in the Ask-the-therapist column 9/14 A parent asks: It's back to school. My daughter is 10 and all excited to start a new year. She's a straight A student and because she is, she is more the shy type and doesn't attract as many friends. Last year she complained and I had to speak to her teachers many times to make sure it was well handled. I feel like it will happen all over again …
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Author: Allan J. Katz LPC/CSAT

September 21st, 2014

Allan J. Katz, Certified Sex Addiction Therapist will be facilitating an intensive program entitled Healthy Sexuality and Intimacy on Nov. 14-21, 2014.  This customized program is based on the latest information by leaders in the field of sexual addiction and compulsivity. Modeled after our highly successful Living Centered Program, this program gives participants the opportunity to explore personal aspects that fuel sexual issues, such as f …
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Author: Parenting Your Anxious Child

September 3rd, 2014

You have your sweet, intelligent, imaginative and creative child. A child who has clearly been blessed with endless potential and depth, a child that can blow your mind away with the most interesting questions you’ve ever been asked (Which you only wished you could answer). Need we say more? The problem, or better said, the “challenge” is, your child also has anxiety. It’s part of this package deal. Yet, there is good news …
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Author: Elizabeth Carmen, MHC-LP

September 2nd, 2014

  I’m going to take the risk of being blunt and ask, I wonder how many girls have been told they aren’t good enough because of their weight. From personal experience in the Jewish community, I know that this happens to plenty of young women, but I don’t think it’s unique to that community. Young women and even young girls are being sent this message- both directly and indirectly- all the time, whether it’s about …
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Author: Elizabeth Carmen, MHC-LP

September 1st, 2014

Audrey Hepburn wasn’t the only one enamored by Tiffany’s. The pretty white silk ribbon, the robin’s blue bag, promising something amazing inside… What is it about shopping that’s so therapeutic to people, sometimes even leading to severe addictions? Companies like American Express and Visa thrive off of people who believe the saying, “When the going gets tough, the tough go shopping”. This morning, I wen …
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Author: Moshe Norman, LCSW

August 30th, 2014

The Back-to-School Transition-5 Tools to Help Calm the Storm By: Moshe Norman, LCSW Yup, it’s that time of year again though quite hard to believe.  The hours are ticking till school starts and it is beginning to have its effect in the home.  It wasn’t always like that, though.  Before Jason was school age the older kids excitedly anticipated rejoining their school friends and sharing their camp experiences.  They …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

August 27th, 2014

When I was a rav in Baltimore I once began my drasha as follows: Hershel’s mother was having a very hard time getting him out of bed one morning. Hershel finally said to his mother, “give me three reasons why it’s so important that I get out of bed.”
She replied, “All right, Hershel, I’ll give you three reasons why it’s so important that you get out of bed. First of all, because you’re Jewish. …
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Author: Elizabeth Carmen, MHC-LP

August 26th, 2014

When I started graduate school, I thought being a therapist would be fun... or fulfilling at least. I always thought that the job would be simple- I'm a good listener, I could cross my legs and sit in a comfy chair, listening to other people's problems all day. I didn't understand that when you really put your heart into it, it takes an emotional toll, so I needed to find new ways to deal. On nights when I really need to decompress from the horri …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 21st, 2014

NOTE: This article was originally written for a LINKS publication, an organization which reaches out to girls whose parent(s) has died               My husband's father was killed in a bus bombing in Yerushulayim when he was eleven. His family got up from shiva right before Purim and yet he does not have any memories of Purim being a sad day that year. When I asked him about that Purim, he said, “I do …
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Author: Ellen Cornfeld, CNT

August 19th, 2014

One of our primary roles as parents – and one that takes up much of our energies, thoughts and time – is to make sure that our children eat healthy. Few things are more painful for parents than watching their child grapple with their relationship with food. Sometimes it is a slight nuance noticed, a sudden dislike for a certain food, or the disappearance of a cake, all of which appear to be accompanied by reasonable explanations. &rdq …
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Author: Liz Wallenstein, LMHC

August 19th, 2014

Did you know that if you are experiencing migraine headaches, digestive issues, chronic back or joint pain, or other chronic pain conditions and disorders, that it might be your body’s way of trying to tell you something? The latest research in psychology has been putting an emphasis on somatization, or how feelings and experiences show up in the body. It turns out that the body can store information that is not in our conscious minds, mean …
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Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW

August 19th, 2014

We are a nation of givers. It is in our very nature, our essence, our cultural and spiritual DNA. Our communities, schools, and shuls are replete with opportunities for giving. Flip through a Jewish newspaper today and you’ll come across dozens of ads for organized giving: food for the poor, infertility treatments for those who can’t afford them, even free anonymous mental health counseling over the phone. We give time, we give money …
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Author: Esther Fuchs, LCSW

August 19th, 2014

“I want my child to be happy, successful in school, and accepted by classmates.” These are the words I hear from almost every parent in the initial interview when I begin working with them and their children around an adjustment issue. As parents, we all want our children to be happy and grow up to be fully functioning, successful adults. Psychologists are researching whether there is a correlation between happiness and success in lif …
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Author: Dr. Sara Teichman

August 19th, 2014

Though many of our children do quite well in yeshiva, sometimes we come across a child who is head and shoulders above the rest of his class. Though one may think of this as a “good problem,” it is a problem nevertheless. The child suffers from mind-numbing boredom, and the adults suffer when that child acts out because he is going out of his mind. Children who are super unchallenged in school are often miserable. Sometimes to relieve …
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Author: Lisa Twerski, LCSW

August 19th, 2014

Dear Readers,   In our previous issues of Mind, Body & Soul, we’ve tackled the issue of how to get started on the path to getting help for issues of mental health. We’ve also examined the concept of being willing to be fully engaged in the therapeutic process in order to make the most of the help you are getting. And although we touched on the issue of ascertaining whether the help you’ve gone for is actually helping yo …
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Author: Jake Mezrahi

August 19th, 2014

What is confidence and where does it come from? First try to think of something you are confident about and think about how you became confident in it. I, for example, am confident that I could make a painting (the kind you see in museums), because I have been painting for over fifteen years. I am confident that I know how to drive a car because I have been driving for over fifteen years. I am very confident that I know the difference between hea …
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Author: Joel Verstaendig, Ph.D.

August 19th, 2014

It’s Sunday evening and the sun is starting to set. It was a pleasant day, but nevertheless, the general sense of wellbeing that seemed so pervasive a few hours earlier is beginning to diminish. A vague, gnawing feeling slowly manifests itself. With the passing of each moment, this indistinct sensation gradually takes form and suddenly the harsh realization strikes: “Oh no! The weekend is just about over!” A serie …
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Author: Shmuel Brodsky, Psy.D.

August 19th, 2014

During the holidays, congregants increasingly seek out the counsel of their rabbis. The holidays are a time when many people feel genuinely inspired to make a special effort to be extra observant. It is also a time when people with Obsessive Compulsive Disorder (OCD) are most likely to knock on the rabbi's door. How rabbis respond can make all the difference in whether religious OCD sufferers seek professional help, and in some cases, it can be a …
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Author: Chana Kaiman, LCSW and Miriam Yerushalmi, MS

August 19th, 2014

How often does your day start out inspired, renewed, full of energy and promise, only to be thwarted by a mishap, negative encounter, rude comment, disappointment or humiliation? “That just ruined my day,” we often say. “I can’t stop thinking about that awful comment.” Or: “You expect me to be happy after this horrible thing happened?” And the negative mood trap continues, disabling the spirit and the min …
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Author: Dr. Michael Salamon

August 19th, 2014

We have all seen the frightening and disturbing images from Israel of children huddling with their parents on the ground, in the street, hiding in safe rooms or bomb shelters as rockets fired from Gaza attempt to harm Israeli citizens. We have seen the videos of groups of children, perhaps five- or six-year-olds, singing a song designed to soothe them, a song about seeking safety when the warning sirens sound as they rush with their teachers to a …
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Author: Shuli Sandler, Psy.D.

August 19th, 2014

Recently, I met with a lovely middle-aged man in my office. His calm demeanor and mellow style made him quite likable and easy to get along with. When he described a childhood with a chronic history of aggressive outbursts, I was surprised. He disclosed, somewhat shamefully, an incident where he had lashed out at a classmate out of rage and frustration when he was being teased, and ended up physically hitting and punching the child. Even now, man …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

Shame and Its Damaging Effects by Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R and Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R Printed Originally for the Jewish Press   Shame is an excruciating and agonizing emotion. When a person feels shame, he feels completely worthless and small, almost as if he has no right to exist. Shame is a powerful process that is hardwired into our system, and makes us humans sociable and responsive to the standards of our community. We have an over …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

The Dangers of Misdirected Piety Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R (Re-printed from the Jewish Press) The man in my office was beside himself. He had been seeing me for the past few weeks and made significant strides in recovering from his porn addiction. His path was not easy, but nevertheless rewarding. He had to face brutal realizations about himself and re-order his life. Despite all the progress, he was in grave danger of backsliding because a r …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

When Divorce Can Save a Marriage by Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW and Chaya Feuerman, LCSW   How is this for a riddle? How can divorce save a marriage? The answer has to do with how people think about divorce and marriage, and how ironically, their fear of divorce may actually prevent them from making progress and repairing their marriage. The FEAR of divorce leads people to avoid making constructive changes, having sober and mature dialogue a …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

  Why Can’t We Stop Fighting? How Trauma Affects Relationships by Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW and Chaya Feuerman, LCSW Psychotherapists   Sruly and Shani have been fighting like cats and dogs for years. When they came to us, Shani said, “I know that we should discuss our disagreements in a respectful and calm manner, but somehow we can’t stop fighting.” Sruly told us, "We really do love each other, but when our …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

Personality Disorders and Marriage by Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW and Chaya Feuerman, LCSW Psychotherapists   According to the soon-to-be-published DSM V (Diagnostic and Statistical Manual for Mental Disorders), a personality disorder is defined by an impaired sense of self-identity or failure to develop effective interpersonal functioning. Personality Disorders and marital difficulties go hand in hand. This is because persons with Personal …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

Niddah and Abandonment by Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW and Chaya Feuerman, LCSW Psychotherapists   While the niddah time can be seen as the Torah’s attempt to guide a married couple in how to expand their relationship and appreciation for each other beyond the physical, for some couples it can become an enormous and painful challenge. For various reasons, the very practices and rituals designed to enhance respect and intimacy and be exp …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

Thirteen Distorted Beliefs that Sabotage Marital Harmony Rabbi Simcha Feuerman, LCSW-R and Chaya Feuerman, LCSW-R   One of Cognitive Behavior Therapy’s great contributions to the emotional health of mankind is its ability to identify the power of incorrect or maladaptive beliefs, and how they shape our feelings.  If a person can allow himself to question his thoughts and beliefs, and become less defensive and more objective about …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

A Victim of Domestic Abuse or Just a Bad Marriage? Lisa Tweski, LCSW   Differentiating Between Dysfunction, Disorders and Domestic Abuse It can be very confusing to people who feel abused in their marriage, to try and determine if the cause is a dysfunctional relationship that may have some abusive features, a spouse with a mental illness or domestic abuse. In fact, some of the abusive ways one may be treated by their spouse, may be similar …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 17th, 2014

  A Painful Affront to Shalom Bayis An Article by Lisa Twerski, LCSW             There is a story in the Gemara (Shabbos 31a) of a man who tells Hillel that he will convert if Hillel can teach him the entire Torah while he, the prospective convert, stands on one foot. Hillel agrees, telling him, “De’alach sanei, lechavrach la sa’avid – That which is hateful to you …
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Author: Frummarriage.com

August 16th, 2014

In Cases of Domestic Abuse, Is Change Possible? Lisa G. Twerski, LCSW   Women who are victims of domestic abuse usually want to know one thing: How do I keep my marriage but end the abuse? Change is a complex process, and in the case of domestic abuse it relies heavily on including outsiders in your process. . For someone who has become isolated, the prospect may seem daunting. Here are some things to keep in mind: 1) Hoping for change is no …
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Author: Mindy Blumenfeld, LCSW, Individual and Couple Therapist

August 7th, 2014

NOTE: This was originally given as a workshop at a LINKS Shabbaton (catering to girls whose parent[s] is deceased) and written as an article in the quarterly LINKS Magazine             When I was a teenager, I was a really popular kid. Loads of friends, fresh mouth in school, leader at sports in camp. So you would think that my life was perfect. Hmm. Not really. Even though I had two parents, although it looked …
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August 6th, 2014

The stigma of mental illness is alive and well, and kicking....hard. Recently, an able-functioning client told me that when she tried to seek care for her mental health needs, the resource staff seemed almost afraid of her. It wasn't the first time she had experienced this. And sadly, it wasn't the first time I had heard it. In fact, many years ago, I personally saw the reticence (disdain?) in some of the professionals I met, as I attempted to ge …
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