Author: Yehuda Lieberman, LCSW-R, QCSW, DCSW

May 13th, 2013

I don’t believe that anyone can reach the peak of true self-esteem. We all view ourselves externally at least to some extent. The goal is to reduce externally based feelings about ourselves and to increase those intrinsically based. Some people will focus on building self-esteem so as to reduce or eliminate depressive or anxious feelings. Others can continually work toward an increasingly better sense of self.
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Author: Sarah Kahan, LMSW

May 13th, 2013

Harry Chapin who wrote the famous song cats in the cradle wrote another song called flowers are red. He describes a kindergarten teacher teaching her students that “flowers need to be colored red and green leaves are green and that there's no need to see flowers any other way than the way they always have been seen.”
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Author: Sara Teichman, PsyD

May 13th, 2013

Tantrums, especially when they are thrown in public, are no fun. Even in private, they frustrate us and make us wonder what has happened to the child we love. Interestingly, tantrums are often cited as the most challenging issue that parents face.
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Author: Susan Vorhand Ph.D.

May 13th, 2013

A dream can provide a perspective unknown to consciousness. Carl Jung saw the dream as a hidden portal to the innermost recesses of the soul, “the utterance of the unconscious.” The unconscious contains the seed, the possibilities for future experience.
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Author: Shimmy Feintuch, LMSW

May 13th, 2013

If parenting is a job, it has to be the worst job ever. Long hours, bad pay, no recognition. Entry level parenting includes perks like spit-up and stinky diapers; a tenured position earns you criticism and the cold shoulder. Severance comes in the form of requests for money and brief holiday visits.
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Author: Being an Educated Consumer of Mental Health Services

May 13th, 2013

In my work as a Clinical Social Worker at outpatient mental health clinics, I have had the opportunity to work with many colleagues, and observe the field of private practice treatment. As a parent of an ADHD child, I have also been “on the other side of the couch,” as a client of such services. What I have seen is a very wide range of quality in the services offered to the community. As such, I would suggest that the consumer of mental health services is much more likely to receive quality treatment if s/he has an idea of how to be an educated consumer.
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Author: Mourning and Melancholia Revisited

May 13th, 2013

The Distinctions between Sadness, Mourning and Depression Having read quite a bit about topics of psychological interest in the Orthodox media, it seems to me that it would be helpful to clarify the differences between sadness, mourning and depression. For those of you who are suffering from depression and reading these words, you know what depression is all too well, and you know that it is something that takes hold of the mind much more aggressively and completely than sadness, or even mourning.
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Author: Seymour Hoffman

May 13th, 2013

Jewish sages have always been acute observers of human behavior. Below are presented several charming and enlightening anecdotes demonstrating the psychological wisdom and sophistication of past and present Jewish sages and their brief psychotherapeutic interventions.
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Author: Dr. Jonathan M. Lasson

May 13th, 2013

Obsessive compulsive disorder (OCD) is an anxiety disorder that affects many people throughout the world. Many people observe individuals with OCD and laugh at them for their overly scrupulous behavior, however; OCD is no laughing matter. Those who suffer from this disorder are in severe psychological emotional pain. This pain that can torment other aspects of their lives for many years if gone untreated.
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Author: Reizl Kessin MHC

May 12th, 2013

Shloimy looks lovingly and tenderly over at Rochel, his kallah. He has awaited this moment his whole life. He cannot believe how blessed he is to have found such a sweet and understanding person. He can't wait one minute more til they can be alone at last and share their future together. Rochel is just as eager to wed Shloimy. His kind eyes and empathetic smile make her feel safe at last. She can finally escape the insanity of her family's house and begin a new journey filled with hope and possibilities for a happy new life.
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

May 9th, 2013

What do these two phrases have in common? Original copy. Open secret. Each of these phrases is an oxymoron, a combination of words that have completely opposite meanings. If something is a copy, it can’t also be the original. If some piece of information is openly known, it isn’t a secret.
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

May 5th, 2013

What is so hard about sharing? Nothing, if sharing means having something, deciding to let someone else have it for awhile, and then getting it back intact. For young children, sometimes for teenagers, and sometimes for adults, that’s not the way sharing works, and then it’s hard.
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

April 17th, 2013

When I grow up I want to be a fireman. (Tommy, an eight year old inner city child) That was the newspaper’s “Quote of the Day” and it didn’t make any sense to me. What was so significant about this child’s statement? I probably read it three more times until I realized I had been reading it incorrectly. He hadn’t said, “When I grow up I want to be a fireman.” He had said, “If I grow up I want to be a fireman.”
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

April 11th, 2013

Chaim and Shaindy had a very specific request. They wanted to know how to increase their son’s attention span. They were quite perplexed. They told me that their four-year-old son Mendy has never watched television or played an electronic game. They assumed that since their child had never been exposed to those fast paced, highly stimulating activities, he would be able to stay focused when his mother read to him. They couldn’t understand why his mind would wander after his mother had read only four paragraphs of a story he seemed, at first, to enjoy.
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman

March 24th, 2013

Last week I told you a story. It took place on a Friday night, and was repeated on many Friday nights. Here’s the part where dad got involved: Shloime started to sing Shalom Aleichem in a silly voice and Danny told him to stop, but he didn’t, so Danny pushed him and he fell back into the table, knocking over the Kiddush cup that had just been filled with wine. Dad said, “Danny, how many times have I told you not to do that? Why did you do it again?”
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Author: Susan Vorhand

March 24th, 2013

We recognize that the Exodus story in the Torah, like all biblical narratives, is more than just a historical or political tale of physical bondage and ensuing liberation, it is also a spiritual and psychological drama. The exodus represents the human potential to liberate itself from slavery -- be it physical, mental, or spiritual.
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman, LMHC

March 7th, 2013

Parents spend a lot of time preparing their home for Pesach. I hope you will also spend time preparing your children for Pesach. How do you pique your child’s interest in a discussion about Pesach?
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Author: Allan J. Katz, M.S. CRC

March 4th, 2013

The Orthodox Jewish world continues to seesaw back and forth about the pros and cons of the Asifa on Technology at Citifield in New York that was shown in communities around the world. Debates abound on the best Internet filters, blocks and technological band-aids to repair the dangerous environmental influences of the outside world. Let’s ban or block the Internet and suddenly our children will be less distracted, our communities more heimish and our learning and davening more for the sake of Heaven instead of rote blabbering to get it over with.
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March 4th, 2013

The initial image that came to mind was of a heart surgeon losing
his patient on the operating table. That is what I was thinking when
Sara called me saying she had decided to divorce Avi. They had begun
therapy ten weeks prior. It was to be a last attempt at saving the
marriage, but I knew at the time that my work was cut out for me.
At a certain point in a relationship, when there has been a history of
discord, fee …
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Author: Jenny Sassoon, L.M.S.W.

March 4th, 2013

Last summer, I read one of the best novels I have read in a long time: “The Help” by Kathryn Stockett. I was inspired by this novel in many ways, and there is one piece in the novel that particularly spoke to me as it relates to building healthy self-esteem in children and young adults. One of the main characters in the novel is a maid named Aibileen. Aibileen is responsible for cleaning and watching a two-year old little girl named Mae Mobley. This little girl’s mother often openly criticizes her two year-old daughter for not doing the right thing (i.e. what her mother wants her to do.)
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Author: Candida Abrahamson, Ph.D.

March 4th, 2013

“It is a truth universally acknowledged, that a single man in possession of a good fortune must be in want of a wife.” Thus begins Jane Austen’s classic marriage-themed novel, Pride and Prejudice. To adapt the line for our world: cross out ”in possession of a good fortune” (not a requirement) and exchange ”should” for ”must.“ For while it is incumbent upon men and women in frum society to marry, it appears that some who want to want to get married are held back by fears of commitment. What are some of the unconscious rules by which these ‘Shidduch-Shy’ live their lives?
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Author: Aviva Barnett

March 4th, 2013

Have you contemplated psychotherapy and counselling feeling unsure which approach to choose? Well help is at hand now with this whistle stop tour of different types of therapies, providing an insight into each approach. So let’s start with a well known name most people have heard of Mr. Sigmund Freud. Freud was the grandfather of the psychodynamic movement. Freud observed women suffering from hysteria and diagnosed them, interpreting their symptoms.
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Author: Rabbi Dovid M. Cohen, Esq.

March 4th, 2013

I once heard a story about asingle man struggling to find a spouse. His main challenge was his insistence that a potential matepermanently welcome his widowed mother into their marital home. A friend suggested that he speak with the great authority,HaravShlomoZalmanAuerbachzt’l. The single man shared with the Ravhis delicate predicament. The Rav validated the man’s approach as acceptable.Sometime later, the man met his “bashert,” the special women willing to live along with mom. They returned
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March 4th, 2013

Menchlichkeit,Good Middos,Patience and Wisdom

These are the accolades I heard over and over again by stepchildren and stepparents
describing the attributes of a good stepparent.

There were those who became stepchildren due to the death of a parent., There were
those whose divorced parents married a single person. Other parents had both been
divorced. Some came with children of their own and blended their famil …
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Author: Rabbi Yitzchak Shmuel Ackerman

February 27th, 2013

Cheer up! Stop being so negative. It isn’t that bad. Don’t mope. Or as the songs suggest: Grey skies are gonna clear up. Put on a happy face. Pack up your troubles in your old kit-bag, and smile, smile, smile. Okay, now that you’re in a good mood, let’s do some parenting. What? You’re not in a good mood? But I told you to be, and I even brought proof from corny old songs that it’s a good idea to smile and be happy!
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Author: Rabbi Ackerman

February 21st, 2013

Rabbi Yochanan said: Providing sustenance is more difficult than geulah, for of geulah it is written, “the angel who has redeemed me” whereas of sustenance it is written, “The L-rd who has sustained me.” (Pesachim 118a)
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February 19th, 2013

By Dr. Shuli Sandler

“My son takes an hour to get up in the morning…”
“My daughter’s backpack is a disaster!”
“Yitzchak can’t sit still in class. He’s always so fidgety.”
“Batya doesn’t raise her hand in class. She always calls out.”
“Laurie doesn’t study for her Chumash test unless I am hovering over her.”
&ld …
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February 19th, 2013

Lili Grun, LCSW
Rabbi Richard Louis Price M.D.



The theme of boundaries is woven throughout Jewish culture. This theme is apparent in the first human action. Adam delineated between human and animal, and created a boundary of identity for each animal through naming. Avraham was called  haIvri  (“the one from the other side”) because he distinguished himself from others, standing one side of a spiri …
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February 19th, 2013

By Yehuda Lieberman
I have, in the past, defined true self-esteem as a positive feeling about oneself based on intrinsic attributes, similar to the way that we feel about others for whom we have esteem. What are the benefits of having true self-esteem, and what are the consequences of not having a positive sense of self?
    While there are many mental health issues that can be strongly impacted by low self-esteem, anxiet …
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February 19th, 2013

Michael J. Salamon

    Every industry, has its own busy season, and for mental health professionals, the holiday seasons seem to be the busiest. What is interesting is that the stressors that cause these holiday blues are not linked to any particular religious or ethnic group. All people seem to suffer increasing seasonal stress even if they do not celebrate the actual holiday.

Starting from a few days before …
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February 19th, 2013

By Chaya Tauber There is a secret many parents harbor and are afraid to admit- liking one child more than another. When this was brought up during a parenting group, one parent immediately responded, "I love all my children equally."   While this response sounds like the correct thing to say, it is usually untrue.  It may be the age or stage the child is in that appeals more to a parent.  It may be the child's personality.  So …
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February 19th, 2013

By Pamela Siller

The phone rang once, but was ignored.  However, the caller was persistent, and the pattern was repeated.  Mrs. Rosen sat at the kitchen table with her head in her hands. She did not need the caller ID to tell her that her daughter’s school was calling yet again. Leah’s problems started when she was a young child.  Her early tantrums were passed off as the normal “terrible two’s,&r …
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February 19th, 2013

Rosalind Levine

There is a donkey in the middle of the road. A man wants to pass and so he yells at the donkey, telling it to move but the donkey does not budge. So he gets behind the animal, takes a stick and hits the donkey.  Again, it does not budge. So the man tries to push the donkey and kicks it. No movement. He then goes to the other end and offers the donkey some grass and, lo and behold, the donkey follows the man and mov …
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February 19th, 2013

By Nancy Zwiebach


These words, commonly quoted within the Jewish world, carry great meaning. As a Self Esteem Facilitator and psychotherapist, it is my goal to help people understand that caring for oneself is a mandate and that, like the instructions given by flight attendants on airplanes, you must care for yourself first if you are going to do your best in caring for others.

Anyone who is a parent experiences, along …
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February 19th, 2013

By Rabbi Raffi Bilek

The Talmud teaches us that a man is obligated to teach his son Torah, find him a bride, teach him a trade, and according to some even to teach him how to swim (Kiddushin 29a).  In short, parents are required to give their children the tools needed to lead successful lives.  We cannot raise our children without teaching them what they need to know to support themselves, nor can we rear them without offerin …
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February 19th, 2013

Dr. Norman N. Blumenthal

Terrorist attack in Toulouse….Gunman kills children in Newtown, Connecticut…Bombs continue to fall in Southern Israel…Child abducted in Brooklyn…
The news abounds with frightening and catastrophic events from which it is increasingly hard to insulate our children. Should we continue to try to protect our children from an awareness of such misfortune? If we have to resign ourselv …
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February 19th, 2013

By Dvorah Levy
Our spouses have the ability to hurt us in a way that very few others can. How we understand these particular hurts and the process of working through them is the key to getting to forgiveness. Can all hurts be forgiven in marriage? The answer is “yes” but it requires a process that takes work, understanding and patience. The insight and understanding gained when working on repairing a deep hurt often bring couples …
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February 19th, 2013

In the course of our 120 years there will be, Gd willing, many wonderful times.  However, since we are here to grow, we may also face stress, loss, and hardships.  Some of us might experience abuse, neglect, poverty, or financial strain.  Others might face challenges in marriage or parenting, mental illness, or medical illness. Accidents, war, crimes, or “acts of nature” may undermine our sense of safety.  No …
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February 19th, 2013

“My student’s mother is impossible!” exclaimed Mrs. Melamed to the teachers.  “Her son’s pants are always falling down an inch.  I’ve been making an extra check box in red next to his homework with the word ‘belt’ to remind Mom.  She fills out the rest of the homework but ignores ‘belt;’the next day, this kid’s pants are falling down.”  Ever sympathetic, t …
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February 19th, 2013

By Seymour Hoffman

The attitude of ultra-orthodox rabbis toward mental health practitioners varies from outright hostility and distrust to respect and cooperation. The former generally view psychotherapists as a threat to religion and religious values, while the latter generally relate to them as colleagues in ministering to the emotional and psychological needs of people in distress. The former group, generally, is highly vocal in its …
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